is a grim reality."; r_text[3] = "Where life is wasted, one minute at a time."; r_text[4] = "Enlarge your penis"; r_text[5] = "The Internet's only website"; r_text[6] = "Steve Martin's #1 resource for looking himself up on the Web!"; r_text[7] = "It's like an electric newspaper!"; r_text[8] = "The world's worst arrangement of 1s and 0s"; r_text[9] = "It's inedible!"; r_text[10] = "Like Ebay, minus the usefulness"; r_text[11] = "Let's ignore our mortality one click at a time"; r_text[12] = "The Web's 660,943,817,855,213rd hottest destination"; r_text[13] = "When touching yourself gets old"; r_text[14] = "Just to spite other guys name Steve Martin"; r_text[15] = "Where beautiful Asian ladies won't be waiting for you"; r_text[16] = "Procrastination, meet narcissism"; r_text[17] = "The best low-sodium recipes on the Web"; r_text[18] = "Because Twitter's too easy"; r_text[19] = "Entirely undeserving of the Nobel Peace Prize"; r_text[20] = "World of Stevecraft"; r_text[21] = "Because the copier's broken"; r_text[22] = "Where your most cherished dreams seem kinda far away"; r_text[23] = "Where Scientology's subjected to rigorous experimentology"; r_text[24] = "&quot;Sheepish&quot; is our watchword"; r_text[25] = "...where penmanship matters."; var i = Math.floor(26*Math.random()) document.write(r_text[i]); //--> </script>